Friday, November 29, 2013

I hate going to the doctor.  First of all they have to weigh you.  I would rather tell them what I weighed that morning, naked, on my scale that loves me; not clothed,  on the evil doctor scale that adds the extra 10 lbs every time I twitch trying to balance on one foot to make me lighter.  I wonder what they would do if I started taking all my clothes off?  I already take everything off that isn't offensive, like my shoes, extra sweater, earrings...

Then after the doctor, well the PA since I don't like my Dr very much, asks me if I've been taking my meds, he sends me out and the blood suckers take at least 1000 vials of blood.  There used to be two awesome nurses that took my blood, but one day, there were NEW nurses, who had only taken blood 2 times before taking mine, maybe 4 times, but not much more.  One nurse wasn't too bad, but it hurt like the dickens when she shoved the needle home.  BUT the next time, I got the nurse who looked like she crawled out of bed in her scrubs.  There are just some people that no matter how hard they try, they just look like they were rode hard and put up wet.  Now that probably was a little more graphic than what you want to hear/read, but sorry folks, it was accurate.  That nurse was one of them.  She was a BIG girl, but who am I to say anything, I'm no petite little thing, but she was slovenly.  My regular nurse was nowhere to be seen and "Hulk-a-rella" was closing in.  I figured, how bad could it be...oh snap!  It was worse!

First she had trouble finding my vein, so that hurt.  Then she found it--oh yeah, did she ever--and then a minute or two later said, "Your vein is collapsing."  Ok, that doesn't sound good.  She collapsed my freakin' vein.  I could lose an arm with crap like that going on!  Would that manufacture an embolism that could go straight to my heart?  My brain?  My lungs?????  After that pronouncement, she started taking the needle and digging around in my arm!!  Did she think she would hit another vein that hadn't collapsed? The next day my arm was purple!  And when I went in next, I told my regular nurse that I would walk out the door if that girl tried to take my blood again.  I'm surprised my natural New England sarcasm didn't come out and tell her to take that needle and shove it where the sun didn't shine.  I've become "nice" living in Utah.  Pity that...

My next appointment is December 6th.  More to come.  Hopefully my numbers will be good with all the plants I've been eating!

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